Across the Void: Through Cancer and Into Life

Cancer is a word often spoken in hushed tones; like no other it can spark feelings of intense anxiety and fear. A diagnosis of this disease is seldom seen in a positive light, but for Laurie Bonello, breast cancer was the first step on a life-changing emotional and spiritual journey.

What is the experience really like, for someone forced to travel down that road? Across the Void offers a unique insight into a journey that too many people must take. Laurie's honest and articulate story of her own odyssey through cancer makes compelling reading-a must-read for all whose lives are touched by illness or loss.

Preface

The cancer was invasive. Surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, and other treatments throughout the first year were closely followed by a wide variety of other tests. We were trying to determine if the pain in my hip was bone cancer, and if the tumour on my liver was malignant or benign. Was my life going to be short or long?

While trying to figure these things out, I had to return to work, to a job I found meaningless and from which I desperately wanted out. On top of that, physically I still felt rotten and I was very preoccupied with trying to make sense of the cancer experience, intellectually as well as emotionally.

I felt that, on one hand, because I had been on the receiving end of attention and care from the medical community and was still being carefully monitored, I should simply be able to resume life as usual. But on the other hand, that experience had changed me. My life had changed. I felt marooned in a deep and vacant place, and I couldn't find my way out.

I later learned that many others had found themselves in that same place, and that the place had a name: the void. Arriving there very often happens following a loss of some kind: health, financial, employment, significant other, to name just a few. After the initial crisis or trauma is past, those around you want life to return to "normal" as quickly as possible; for things to be as they'd always been before. But I found that I just couldn't do that. My "normal" life was gone; had been stripped away.

My passage through the void was a lonely one. Others were there to help, but the actual travelling I had to do alone. After cancer, I felt that what had once defined my life was now shattered, and scattered about. My challenge was to find the pieces, evaluate their worth, and consciously select what would be useful toward creating a life that was meaningful.This is the story of my journey through cancer and across the void to a better life.

10% of the proceeds are donated to charity